Monday, December 21, 2009

Diary of a Liberal, Found on cragslist

*I posted this as-is and did not correct errors*

I can understand why youse are flagging my post - If I was a liberal coquesuquer like yourselfs, I would be offended also....It kinda be the shyts to read my post & realize its like looking in a mirror init? Maybe youse all think that nyggar you all voted in is gonna save yer stupid asses - but the dumb muslim baastard will be leaving before you know it & then you faggots will probably starve....

Well enough preaching from me - lets get back to the post shall we/
Diary of a Liberal 8:00 Woke up. Took a bong hit. Went back to sleep
9:00 Woke up. Took a bong hit. Went back to sleep again.
10:00 Woke up. Took a bong hit. Jerked off to Democrat chicks with Dicks on the computer.
10:10 Browsed liberal political sites. Attacked Sarah Palin. Felt smug. Attacked George Bush, felt even smugger. Blamed Republicans for my failed life, felt even smugger.
10:30 Went to Reno Craig's list R and R. Called people racists, attacked Sarah Palin, flagged a few post telling the truth about me and supported illegal aliens. Didn't search for a job. Waiting for my stimulus check from Obama.
10: 45 I lit a candle at my Obama altar. I kow towed to his picture for 10 minutes. Meditated on His Holiness for another 5. Felt smug.
11:00 am. Put on my Che Guevara t-sirt and some dirty sweats. Went to my check my mail. My stimulus check from Obama still hasn't come. Cursed the Republicans under my breath.
11:30 am. Felt hungry. No food in my mom's house. Damned her to hell.
11:45 am. Didn't take a shower, didn't shave, didn't brush my teeth. I admired my tattoos in the mirror. I am so cool. Sprayed some petchouli oil on. Bathing is so bourgoisie.
12:00 Went to the garage and got my fixed gear bike. I want a Prius but waiting for my stimulus from Obama. Obama will give me free money like he promised.
12:10 Rode my bike to the welfare office. Some fucker in a Prius cut me off. Must be a Republican.
12:30 Got to the welfare office. It is closed for lunch. 100 Mexicans families are waiting in front of me. 300lb Mexican women with 5 kids a piece. They are so cute. I chatted with a Baby Momma in Spanish. We exchanged compliments over tattoos. She admired my tattoos of Caesar Chazez and Commandante Zapata on each arm. I admired her tattooed eyebrows and gang tattoos on her neck. I think I could have got some, but she is only 12. I cursed America for being so uptight about sex. I wish I were gay, so I could get married.
1:00 pm. Welfare office opens. There was a riot at the door. 100 Mexican families rushing the door is not a pretty sight. 10 people got shot. I smiled. I celebrated diversity.
3:00 pm. Fat Mexican lady bureaucrat calls my number after waiting 2 hours. I tell her I am poor and a Democrat and need some money. She doesn't understand English. She only speaks Spanish. In Spanish, she tells me if I am White, male and American with no children, I get no welfare--only fat Mexicans with many children can live off the state. I told her that I voted for Obama. She laughed and pointed at all the Mexican families and said, "They did too and they are not even American." I look at her, she looks at me, and we both say at the same time, "ACORN." We had a moment I will never forget. The entire welfare office erupts in shouts of "Viva Acorn, Viva Obama." Tears came to my eyes. I am going to spend at least an hour worshiping Obama at my altar tonight after I jerk off to Republican Chicks with Dicks.
3:30 pm I go to my drug dealer. I have run out of dope. I ask him if I could buy some pot on credit until my stimulus check from Obama comes in. He says, "Yo, you dumb mother fucker, you canz gets no weez on credit." "But, but I am waiting for my stimulus checks from Obama, he promised us free money." "Nigga please, he promised me free money, not your sorry ass. Now get your dumb cracker ass out of my crib before I put a cap in your ass. Credit, shit, this ain't no Bank of America, mutha fucka." I shat my pants. I gave him the Black Power salute and ran to get my fixed gear bike. Somebody stole it.
3:45 Walking home. I saw some Mexican kids riding my bike. I didn't call the police. The police don't arrest Mexicans for committing crimes. They have sanctuary. Besides, they are Brown and oppressed and I am White and privileged. They deserve my bike more than me.
4:00 I walk to the food bin. There are 100 Mexican families in front of me waiting for food. When it is my turn, I get a package of top ramen and a rotten cabbage.
4:30 I get home. I make my Top Ramen mixed with some rotten cabbage. I turn on Keith Olberman and Rachel Maddow. They give me some good talking points for my nightly session on Craig's List R and R. They tell me nothing is ever my fault. The Republicans are evil. They blame the corporations, blame George Bush, blame Sarah Palin for everything wrong in America. I feel smug once again.
7:00 pm I go to my room and turn on my computer. I go to the liberal blogs and blame all problems on Republicans. I defend Nancy Pelosi and Barack Obama for not sending me my stimulus checks.
8:00 pm I go to Craig's List and call people racists and Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh supporters because unemployment is now 12% and the Democrats are working hard to give us free money. I feel smug.
8:50 pm I tried to sign up on a gay website - my mothers credit card was declined - damned her to hell again.
9:00 pm I smoke the resin that was left in my bong. I browsed to Democrat Chicks with Dicks and toss myself off to a Al Gore look a like. I shot a big load when he winked at me and said, " global warming"
9:30 I lit a candle at my Obama altar and kow towed to His Holiness for an hour. I prayed real hard for my stimulus check.


  1. ronald the retard ? wtf ?
    herr gobbers bushy ? icky...

    the only good thing about obammy and reid is that the lazy good fer nuthin school teachers are going to strike (and hopefully get incarcerated) when their cadillac health care plans start getting taxed...

  2. Teachers are union, union is the problem. I doubt the health care plan will effect there union benes much, they will find a way around the tax. As usual we will get stuck with both bills.

    I agree bush was and is a rat.

    If Reagan were in charge we wouldn't be in the pore shape were in.

  3. both bushes were nazi's...

    Reagan was a major asshole. After all; HE CAME FROM CALIFORNIA. outside he was never anything more than an actor and king bushy the first really was running the show. That's when the mother of all easy money crack up booms began.

    And everybody was happy for 30 years while homes and stock prices went UP UP UP and AWAY... Then Bernie Madoff got caught stealing from the rich, and it turns out, that was all the financial system was about... STEALING.

    If you look at the fine print on OBAMA-CARE, it's really just a tax, the other half is paid for by cuts in medicare benefits, which means old folk will have to just pay more or die.

    but, no, government employees all have those cadillac health care plans with dental and low co-pays. so they'll find out the hard way, when their benefits are taxed, and their pensions cut. everybody knows that the government debt is unsustainable, and yet all the politicians do is vote to increase spending....

    yeap, it's almost "shootin' cotton time" for the idiot asses in washington and on walls street.... it make take 10 or 20 years for people to wake up to the stench of the rotten carcass: AMERIKA DOA.

  4. He just lived in CA for the weather and his carrier. I think he hailed from Il. The big spending started in his term because of tax cuts.

    The Bush family wanted him gone. Reagan 'kept his own council', if you know what I mean. He wasn't willing to participate in there 'World Order'. There is some indication Bush family was behind the seaming bumbling assassin attempt.