Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Found on Cragslist LA/ Rants

 I ran across this the other day I guess its kinda funny



Dating Rules for Men (worldwide)

1. Spend no more than $40 on a date. You worked hard for your money, and you should keep it. Spending more than $40 won’t get you laid, anyway. Your best bet is to set up a date AFTER dinner, say, 9-10pm, and make sure cocktails are involved.
2. NEVER date single mothers. Since she has a child, you already KNOW her stance on abortion – if you get her pregnant, she won’t have one. Don’t risk paying what I call “vaginamony.” Plus, her kids will ALWAYS be #1 in her life. You will ALWAYS be after them, on the back burner. Why would you want to be in second place, after some spoiled brat who’s not even your offspring? If you are already seeing a single mother, get out – NOW. Always remember, “child support” lasts 18 years. That adds up to a LOT of money.
3. If by the third date you’re not getting laid, you’re OUT. If you haven’t laid any pipe by the third date, she sees you as a softie, as a “friend,” and you don’t want to be friends. You don’t want to be a “nice guy.” You want action. She is sponging off you. She is using you. DUMP HER.
4. If a girl – any girl – ever answers her ringing cell phone while you’re out on a date, get up a leave. Chances are she has set up a bogus emergency call, to get out of the date early. If she’s yammering away on the phone, that means she’s not interested in you. And if she’s not interested in you, guess what? She’s not going to bang you. She just talked to that “bad boy” she knows who’s going to drop by and bang her later on, after you’ve left, $40 or more in debt from the date. If your date answers her phone (rude, all by itself) and you get the vibe that she’s talking to a guy, simply excuse yourself politely, and leave her there. Don’t worry, she’ll find a way home.
5. Do NOT agree to any “coffee” dates or “lunch” dates. You do not get laid after wasting time and money on such nonsense. You want to see her AFTER THE SUN HAS GONE DOWN. This is when everyone – women too – are thinking about getting laid. Most importantly, alcohol MUST be involved in your date.
6. Thursdays through Saturdays is off-limits for girls, unless you are convinced you’re going to get laid. This time is spent hanging out with your friends, having a good time, and meeting NEW girls, to keep your supply fresh and constant.
7. Never answer your phone during the weekend. You want women to believe you are busy, out on the town, having fun, doing fun things. If you answer the phone, you will appear weak and desperate, which you’re not. You have lots of things to do with your friends.
8. Do not have a serious relationship with any woman until you have realized your personal dreams. Women are dream-killers. Women KILL your life-dreams. Women suck the very life and soul and energy from what you want to really do in life. Like a friend of mine puts it, “Women don’t know how oppressive they are.” And they are. Women want to know where you’ve been, where you’re going, what she and you are going to “do” later, and on and on and on. You don’t need any of that. You don’t want to be a slave to anyone, do you? No, you want to be FREE. You want to live your own life as you see fit. And no woman on earth is going to let you do that. Why? Because she’s too wrapped up in what SHE wants. And she wants EVERYTHING, by the way.
9. Never bang any chick you work with – unless you want to lose your job. Yes, many people meet at work, and sometimes it actually works out for them. But, be warned – there are also lots of sexual-harassment lawsuits in the works, and you don’t want to have anything to do with one of those. Such an action could potentially ruin your life forever. Stay clear from sex with the women you work with.
10. Women like and respect men who are CONFIDENT. Develop your game. Even if you’re trembling inside, just act like you’re not. Even if you don’t have any idea what to say to her when you approach, just approach and say it. ACT LIKE A MAN, for God’s sake. There are not too many of us left these days. If you don’t know how to act like a man, rent, watch, and study films starring some real men of their day: John Wayne, Robert Mitchum, Clint Eastwood, and Steve McQueen. Women hate fags. Women love MEN. Wake up, grow up, and start being a MAN. It won’t matter what you wear, what you drive, how tall (or short) you are, or even if you’re completely cue-ball bald. Learn how to be a MAN, and women will let you know they’re interested.
11. Don’t talk too much. Don’t talk too much. Don’t talk too much. Oh, did I mention, don’t talk too much? Your job on a date, on the phone, every time you’re talking to a woman, is to ask her questions that she can respond to. Don’t “interview” her. Don’t tell her all about you and how great you are and what a great job you have. Keep your sentences to her SHORT and SIMPLE. LET HER TALK. As hard as it might be at first, pretend you’re interested in what she has to say (even if in reality she’s boring you to death). You’re job is to get her to open up, to loosen up, and remember to say things like, “Gee, I feel really comfortable around you.” Women are big on “feelings.” Insert one sentence about how she makes you “feel,” like the sentence above. I told a nervous, young Asian girl this, during dinner, and later that night, right before I kissed her goodnight, she repeated the sentence to me: “Gee, I feel really comfortable around you.” On our next day, home run. So, tell your date how comfortable you “feel” when you’re with her, and watch that one statement help her make up her mind about you. Believe me, it works.
12. USE A CONDOM DURING EVERY ENCOUNTER. NO EXCEPTIONS! You don’t want to catch anything she might have, and you don’t want to be paying her $500 a month or more in child-support for 18 years, right? Just so you know, $500 a month for 18 years is $108,000 – and a lot of stress, aggravation, and heartache too, right fellas?
13. The absolute BEST girls are the ones who are new to the USA and who are not yet totally “Americanized.” These kinds of girls are generally much more faithful to you, plus they’re hot, they’re good to great in bed, and they’ll treat you well. Don’t even get me started on how much born-here, American girls suck. American girls know what they want and nothing else. They will make you just as miserable as they are. Stick to Asians, Latinas, and European girls.
14. Your income will reflect the quality of girl you get. The higher your income, the better-looking girl you can afford. Remember to strive high. DON’T SETTLE! Too many of us guys settle, and we don’t have to. We’re in charge. We’re in the power position. Never forget that. When you’re on the prowl, stay hungry. Women try to upgrade all the time. Guys should do that too.
15. When you call a girl, never leave a voice-message. Never leave a voice-message. Did I say, never leave a voice-message? Your number will appear on her caller ID. That will be more than enough to pique her interest. She will return your call. If you leave a message, that make you seem desperate, which you’re not (remember?) Plus, leaving a message allows way too much leeway for making a mistake, like talking too much, revealing too much information. Remember boys, less is more. Less is more. Keep her interested!
16. Show her in any way possible that you don’t need her. Make her feel like she matters, sure, but she is EASILY replaceable.
17. NEVER call a girl twice in the same week. This was in the movie “Swingers,” and it works.
18. The following days are all off-limits: Christmas, New Year’s Eve and Day, Valentine’s Day, Thanksgiving, her birthday, and your birthday. Do not make plans with chicks you are dating on these days. Why? Because it can end up being expensive, time-consuming, and energy-draining, with little to no sex involved in most cases. If it’s a birthday booty-call, fine. Go for it. Holiday meal with her family? No. “Sorry, can’t make it.”
19. If you’ve planned to meet her for dinner, make sure you eat a hearty meal BEFORE you take her out. Tell the waiter, “I’ll just have a salad.” If your date asks why, tell her, “I’m trying to eat healthy.” Believe me, no woman on the planet is going to eat more than you.
20. Never do anything with your date that you don’t want to do. If she wants to “drop by her friend’s house for some wine,” and you don’t want to, tell her no. Remember, you’re spending the money, you decide what you want to do, when you’ll do it, how you’ll do it, and where you’ll do it. NEVER let any woman plan anything that the two of you will do.
21. NEVER let her drive. If she has a brand-new Mercedes, and she wants to let you drive it, fine. But NEVER under any circumstances should you ever let any woman drive. This is a massive blunder. She will assume that you are weak, that she therefore is strong, and that she will now wear the pants in the relationship. You do NOT want anyone but you wearing the pants. I see younger “men” sitting in the “bitch” seat, while their more-masculine girlfriend drives them around town, and it sickens me, how weak and pathetic some “men” can be. Wake up, boys, and smell the coffee. You do NOT want any woman in charge of you.
22. There is a natural order to life. The natural order is God, man, woman, child. God comes first, man comes second, woman comes third. Only a spiritual man – who thinks of God and puts God first – is a real man. If a man is not spiritual, if he does not believe in God, he is not a real man. A real man knows God exists, and he is fully responsible for the woman in his life. A woman is passive toward her man, and – if they have children – she is active toward their children. That is the natural order of life: God, man, woman, child. There is no other way. Every other way will fail. Women are not meant to be in charge. Men are meant and created to be in charge. Again, wake up, men. It’s time to stand up and be counted.
23. NEVER ask a woman what she wants. Never ask a woman what she wants to do. Women never know what they want. Women never know what they want to do. Remember, YOU are in charge. YOU are the skipper of your ship. If she wants to come on board, fine. If not, leave her at the dock.
24. After you’ve had sex and you’ve rested a few minutes, remind her what a good time you’ve had. It’s okay to say, “Hmmm, that was pleasant…” Do not cuddle, do not “spoon,” do not make pillow-talk or discuss what you’re going to have for breakfast in the morning. In other words, do not stay over. Do not spend the night. Get in, get her off, get your rocks off, and get out. Believe it or not, she doesn’t really want you to stay, either. She’d much rather have her entire bed to herself, like she usually does, and no, your burps and farts in the morning are not amusing. If she’s at your place, slowly get dressed, rattle your keys, and tell her you’ll walk her out to her car. As she drives away, ALWAYS stand where she can see you and wave goodbye. It’s a nice touch to end the evening. She’ll remember you for that.
25. Men don’t dance. So, forget about “going dancing.” The only exceptions are queers and Latinos.
26. NEVER compliment a woman. NEVER. Why? Because it raises her self-esteem. You don’t want to hold her down; that’s not what I’m saying. It’s just that, if you tell her she looks good, she’ll actually begin to believe it, and psychologically she may even look “down” on you, like she could do better. Giving a woman a compliment will actually decrease your chance of getting sex from her. So, again, keep your mouth shut. Less is more!

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